THE MAN WHO SLEEPS IN MY BED

 I am some one loves too hard

that my best friend calls me "little dumb redhood" but she doesn't know the air crushed inside my lungs is a privilege.

I have fed my love to a certain bastard, and wiped his mouth with the sleeves of my favorite dress. 

I have kept the dog collar he gifted under my pillow, neatly and digged the brown soil with a metal tooth to camouflage a bleeding womb.

I have hidden my name under the flower pot, my ink spilled for a wild flower 

it's leaves dark as night, 

the golden thorns scooping raw flesh of my papaya heart.

Blood blooming in my mouth, small crimson flowers while he turns all my golden chains to straw, a saddist magician.

And when night comes you shred his skin cells, a white serpent with lollipop eyes,

and become a mere man who puts his head in my ribs,  crushed and tattered with secrets I can't  tell you.

Drawing circles on my hand

his pangs on my cleavage while the last iota of resistance drowning in abyss of pain.

He says he understands me ,but it's a lie _

preaching of hollow words telling me it's for my salvation 

while my tongue dances to spit the question that what was my sin,  

but I bite it, tasting copper because

I know what my sin is , 

I know it more than myself 

for grief is a heirloom passed from my grandmother to my mother and now I own it.

Am a quilt, old as ages which cleans the dirty dishes,

stained with his angel sperms,

failing miserably to be a carpet. 

I have mastered the art of silence, with a needle of pain embroidering a perfect wife,

just to get a pat on the head 

declaring "the woman behind all my success, my love "_

a stale bread to my hungry appetite.

Iam a seasick mermaid, 

half cooked in a witch's secret magic pot, 

waiting patiently to spit out phlegm out of her food pipe.

When he looks at me with that crooked smile eyes closed to my dance of denial,

I remember the last day I loved him, and ignores the lipstick patch on his white shirt. 

The man who sleeps in my bed

is no one but an actor, and

now I wish I had loved my dog 

as much I loved him .

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