ADDENDUM

 

At the end of doomed attempts of conversations,

He showed me a photo, square and clean.

He told me that he loves her, and they have

A lot in common, like religion and music taste.

This new girl is born in the same city as me,

I am sure, because she too has the same birth mark

in her face- sadness concealed with smile.

That afternoon in my bathroom

I got down on my knees and cried.

Five days after that I tried to write

Something like a poem, titled “to the man I loved”

where I lied about him.

I wrote he had stars in his tongue, flowers in fingers

And an ocean in the left of his ribcage.

I called him Adonis with sugar in veins.

The more I wrote about him the more

He stood outside them, staring in disbelief.

In my sleep I cut him into two pieces,

In my dreams he was still kissing me.

I painted my long nails in black and

the dog-eared notebooks with words and tears.

I never uttered a word about the pain he gave,

the sickness that poured when he kissed me.

I never mentioned how his hands touched me in sleep,

Choked me and my feeble “no’s” that I couldn’t sleep.

Instead I stretched the words like a bubble gum,

And put on a neat smile and went to shopping.

Every body said we were in love, so did I :

The ring in my finger shiny more than the knife in my purse.

but I knew better, when the new girl came to the picture.

Did I know that my first poem was going to be a eulogy?

Did I know all those lies were going to be an elegy?

Did I know that a dog walker will find him under a tree?

Did I know that  teary eyed whispers will hug me?

I have no body to blame on,  nor anyone to thank 

It is me:

I was so good that I made sure that the one that

Hurt me don’t hurt anyone again- any new girl.

And now, when I look out of my window

I see an old cat singing a love poem.

 

 

 

 

 

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