I WISHED TO...

 I wished to tell you

not to leave, yet 

I couldn't.

You seemed

like a foreign skin,

eating my grief with 

that beautiful smile.

 A single shade of 

my relief,

a wounded wanderer

just like me.

A companion

to rode

the broken roller coaster,

to compose forgotten melodies.

I wanted to talk to you,

About all that pills

that almost saw my mouth,

all the unclosed chrome tabs 

searching "easy ways to die",

the pages of my old diary

I tried to fill with a 

perfect suicide note,

the screams under taps,

and the pieces of scattered glass 

in the kitchen of my lonely apartment.

I wished to tell you

more

about smiles and scars

screams and giggles

and you and me.

I wished to tell you

not to leave, 

to call you by name

but

I didn't ask your name

and you didn't bother 

to know mine.

When you left the door open, I wanted to 

tell you not to leave...

but couldn't..

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