chaiNboli

Rage sleeps in a hospital bed,  bleach dried and exhausted. Let me talk you  softly, rationally.  1. God may be forgiving,  my mother is not. So, am afraid of  being saved . So I don't jump out of the burning window : rather let the fire to come. You can't call this love, for this is not. 2. I tried to dig a grave  for myself and  my father laughed at my me: The proportions are not correct,  he said, stupid girl. 3. In the chronological order, I am  a broken tooth, nagging finger of sorrow, angry daughter, low maintenance car, an unruled fate.

If God is omnipresent ,  then your mouth is an altar. Be kind towards the apple you bite, And to the current of fire hidden in a lake. If they find you whispering my name, the clouds will call it a miracle and wrap it in rain , to the museum of sainthood. I will then let to have a rope over my neck and trot along , And let you lift your knife until my neck. You are the priest, You are the god, And the beast. I rot, in your memory. If God is omnipresent,  then your eyes are shrines. It is an adventure not to fall in half love with your glass walls and cement floors. If they find me sitting on your steps,  then the winds  will praise your kindness and  make you a  scarlet sand star.  I will pull my memory, ribbon like and dripping , into your floor and  put cherries on my mouth  when they stone me. You are the sanctum  and the slaughter house. I bleed, in holy pain. If God is omnipresent,then  your hands are scriptures  where th...

The universe is a seven second loop. The sky is wearing a dirty orange dress,  with its hands hidden somewhere,  So the birds are frantically running  around it ,to have a hug. Coughing up flowers , an old lover sings, in a slur only broken hearts  can understand. The honking car befriends this ghazal, sticking notes to its underbelly,  in hope of seeing one night stand. A half beast drags it's black wings  along the foggy curves of earth,  trying to find a miracle  that will give a meaning to its life. It wears a shirt two sizes bigger   so that the voices inside its head  can have a breathing space. Slowly it will turn into a poet or a girl. Sometimes, both are the same.  A spring hides under torn fish net,  with a thread long enough to send the messages of caterpillars to butterflies, begging them to be in therapy. A young tiger makes his first kill,  with a war cry soft as a feather and a rabbit opens its eyes to ...

1. Time has woven a long line between us: am not only talking of distance but the days in which silence prevailed between us. You, half moon and half poison, killing me and nurturing me.. how are you?  I think of you, and a prayer fills inside me, throbbing against my spin and cold against my heart. This is when I realize that I would sacrifice myself for you. Sometimes I take light in my hands and try to hold it, only to make myself a fool. May be that's the metaphor for us? You the light, the mighty sun and me, a foolish Icarus? That reminds me of Hozier singing : "Hold me, carry me slowly, my sunlight Each day, you'd rise with me Know that I would gladly be The Icarus to your certainty Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight Strap the wing to me Death trap clad happily With wax melted, I'd meet the sea Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight" //Sunlight, Hozier// I am still peeling my pomegranate heart , in case you return to a burning home with an empty stomach. I am s...

I have heard that  it rains diamonds on jupiter. But am not sure about it,  just like a fish,  unsure of the blueness of the sky. What I adore is the  shining dream of such impossibility. The calmness of that  three dimensional tragedy. The unkind death of smoke  it will cause. The aftermath of  clutched breath of shadow hued corals in the soil. The helplessness of an echo which disappeared before being born. The nakedness of sky  pulled over into an unfinished bowl. The forgetfulness of seeds to rise. The carving of ruin. The truth is   Jupiter doesn't fit in the mirror of my head.  Keep it in my urn, and if there is a future,  let archaeologists wonder about  the shame it holds.  Because, The world is burning,  and so am I. This means, today is a nice day  to turn into water  which decides its own state of matter .

My grief is a people pleaser,  so it opens it mouth only  while looking at the peacock eyes of night. My grief is a foolish radical,  hurting itself and  taking pride in being a carpet. My grief is a romantic martyr, snatching roses from butterflies  to impress an ignorant lover. My grief is the deer in the highway, waiting patiently for a headlight,  in empty promises of a heaven. My grief is a toothless child born under stars while pluto was dead. My grief is an uncurled finger,  which doesn't know  the tiniest grace of a slippery hug.. My grief is a fish  doing elegant back flips,  in hope of seeing miracles every where. My grief is a clown  who practices rope walk  and puts on a simple performance. My grief is blunt knife  which cuts me but  can't chase a piece of butter. My grief shows up in my door, Abruptly,   And asks me to follow. It's clawmarks, the way. The silence, so sacred. The end, the end...

Dust dancers and grief singers  join together their hands on equinoxes, bargaining for love letters  and digging new shrines. I copy them in tobacco stains  over the walls of a place  where women with white eyes rest,  like trees tore down by winds. I have dried out my crippled words  enough to be preserved  for another century of ignorance,  so that I can say  shaving superstitions from  the head of an astronaut  fake landing on mars is  not terrible as lying about  god as a mother figure. I have been pinching the breasts of him,  to have a drop of milk  to stop me from choosing death  but he wrapped me  in blue moon precipitation.  I have been ringing the bells a little loudly,  that it enchant forest cuckoos  to stay silent than forming alliance  over eggs that won't crack. I have heard that  death of a god is the birth of a poet , just like the death of a sailor  is t...